I have to admit, Fall and I have a love/hate relationship. I’m a summer girl. I live for the long nights, campfires, float trips, rodeos, trail rides, swimming, going barefoot, and everything else that comes with summer. I’m even OK with the sultry, hot days, and the bugs. Can’t have the good without the bad, right? And I’ll take summer however it decides to present itself.
But here’s the thing. I don’t have that attitude about winter. I loath it. I mean really, when people mention Fall to me, and talk dreamily of how beautiful and wonderful it is, I tend to roll my eyes and think “Who cares about fall, it’s only that harbinger of my old nemesis…winter…” As far as I’ve always been concerned, fall is a perfect example of guilt by association. I try to like it, but it’s just not happening for me. I’ve always been good at staying positive, and looking on the bright side. Until it comes to fall. I can’t even see the trees turning color without thinking “they’re only doing that because they’re getting ready to lose all their leaves….for winter…”
But this year, THIS YEAR I’ve been doing some thinking. About a lot of things, but mostly personal growth, and becoming that person I want to be. Which makes me think of new year’s resolutions, and those little changes that I never can seem to make. I think part of my problem lies in the fact that I’m such a work in progress, and I tend to pile WAY too many resolutions on my plate on January 1 to even really consider that I could keep them all. On the farm, our lives pretty much revolve around the seasons. All major changes on the farm typically come with the seasonal change. I’ve decided that trigger will also be my impetus for self-improvement. So. Call me crazy, but seasonal resolutions just make sense to me.
With this in mind, I decided to tackle #1 on my list, which is my goal to live more in the moment. In the past few weeks, I’ve made a more conscious decision to try to disengage from my electronics, and the pull of my full-time job and two small businesses, and just LOOK AROUND me. Become more aware of my surroundings, and fully live in the moment, without thinking about what needs to be done, or the million things I might be forgetting. And you know what? This is what I saw:
God’s glory, all around me. It’s a beautiful life, and if we spend all our time in the future, we’ll never fully enjoy the present. Stop, look around, take a deep breath, and I promise you will find beauty. And peace. And joy.
And when I did that, I realized that fall is AMAZING, and BEAUTIFUL, and BRILLIANT. Just look at all the colors. Topped off with crisp, clear, awesome weather perfect for cardigans and hot cocoa. And just like that, I became one of those annoying fall lovers.
Now I’m just going to try to hold on to that through winter.
Maybe, just maybe this year, breaking up my bad habits and focusing on self-growth a little bit at a time over the year, I can find some joy in the fact that winter’s coming, and remind myself that every day unimaginable beauty flies by us un-noticed as we spend our precious time beating ourselves up over the deadline we missed, or whether our house is perfectly clean, or the fact that the dreaded winter is almost here again. Who’s with me?
Happiness and Hoofbeats,
The Gate Girl